I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am mentally ready for anal.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
