i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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