your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize