I CAN MOONWALK!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
