I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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