if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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