Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
