I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
