and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
