my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
