Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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