I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
