dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
