I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
