Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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