this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
