i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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