Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize