There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
