trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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