It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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