I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
