chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
