She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
