Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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