question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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