You really coming over, don't trick.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
