I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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