Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
