I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
