I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
