Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
