Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
