Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
time to smoke my breakfast
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
