Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize