I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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