I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
