so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
someone get that fucking seahorse.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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