Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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