Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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