Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize