I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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