i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I had to cum in my sink.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
