if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
