dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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