Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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