i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
