Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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