Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
