Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize