you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
