i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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