I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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