Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
