I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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