Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
