If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
