After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
