your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
