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WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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