i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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