Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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