We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
