Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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