It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
