the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think my nap took me to another dimension
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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