addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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