Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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