Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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