idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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