I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
