Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
