My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
