great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
