Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
