Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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