So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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