I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
