Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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