do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize