my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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