i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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