Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
