Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
