Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
