Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
