You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
