his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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